


On Our Last Day

by arc__turus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood Loss, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:53:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arc__turus/pseuds/arc__turus
Summary: Even when the circumstances change, Levi can still not save Erwin Smith.—"The battlefield is finally quiet as the morning sun bleeds into the sky.“Erwin!”The name breaks into the air like a thunderclap but is met only with piercing silence. Levi’s gear rattles unceremoniously as he runs from one body to another, attempting to catch a glimpse of a head of golden hair."
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	On Our Last Day

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the lyrics of 'on our last day' by hayden calnin

The battlefield is finally quiet as the morning sun bleeds into the sky.

“Erwin!”

The name breaks into the air like a thunderclap but is met only with piercing silence. Levi’s gear rattles unceremoniously as he runs from one body to another, attempting to catch a glimpse of a head of golden hair. His breathing comes ragged the longer he searches, hands becoming bloodied from turning over numerous corpses. Each lifeless face sends guilt shooting through him, seizing his heart with unforgiving force. 

If it were any other soldier, Levi wouldn’t have been so desperate to find them. The tether between he and Erwin had not yet snapped but, as time wore on, he realised it was unravelling faster than he could reel it in. Panic was an emotion Levi rarely felt; in this moment, all his body could do was shout out his lover’s name until it no longer bore meaning, hands trembling more so with each body he passes.

There!

A bloody hand reaches to the sky, shaking so violently that Levi was sure it was waving jovially at him. Levi’s breath catches in his throat as he begins to run, focused solely on the hand he saw on the horizon. The hand drops as he nears, landing in the ring of blood that encircles the body. Without hesitation, Levi drops to his knees, white trousers stained crimson within seconds. With gentle hands, he pushes matted hair from Erwin’s face, thumb running over his cheek before dipping down to check his pulse. It beat weakly against his fingers, promising little but enough.

“Erwin? Erwin, it’s Levi. I’ve got you; we’re getting out of he—”

The man’s hoarse voice dies as he lifts Erwin’s cape. The left side of his body was torn apart, blood pulsing from too many places at once. The coppery tang was suddenly too much, the stench filling every part of his nose, his mouth, his throat. Swallowing thickly, Levi reaches up to loosen his cravat, pulling it free of his neck. Pressing it to Erwin’s face to clean the blood spattered there, he tries to rouse him.

“Erwin? Open your eyes. Wake up for me.”

“Le—Levi?” The word is wet when Erwin speaks, the two syllables pushing past his lips with great effort. His face contorts as he tries to move himself, eyes screwing shut and mouth parting in a silent scream. His remaining hand shoots forward to grasp Levi’s own, white knuckles stark against scarlet blood.

The sight brings tears to Levi’s eyes, his free hand placed on the injured man’s shoulder to steady him. Even when Erwin lost his arm, Levi had never seen more than a grimace pass over the man’s face. His expression now, unguarded and visceral, tears at Levi’s heart unlike any wound he’s received.

“Stop, Erw—Please,” Levi’s voice cracks as he speaks, causing dull blue eyes to turn themselves up to meet his grey ones. What once held the colour of a summer sky holds the hue of a cold autumn afternoon, promising a harsh winter. Levi lets his head drop, ebony hair obscuring the view, unable to gaze back at him for too long. Erwin pulls his hand from Levi’s, calloused fingers reaching up to stroke the shorter man’s cheek. The action draws pained hisses from him, teeth bared and breaths shallow.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry Levi.”

Erwin’s voice is thick with emotion, his breathing haggard as he attempts to draw breath for more words. Levi looks up, then, shaking his head, attempting to tell Erwin to save his breath, to save it for living. However, true to his nature, the man ploughs on.

“I have loved you for so long,” he begins as a soft smile tugs on his lips, “I regret so much. You were never one of those regrets.”

Erwin’s hand drops from his lover’s face, resting in the man’s lap. Levi seizes it immediately, bringing it back up to his face to kiss it, lips quaking as tears, finally, streak down his cheeks. All those nights spent in each other’s company, bodies slotted together in semi-darkness as they sought fevered kisses, led here. He despised it, despised this world they were born into, the absurdity of it all.

“Don’t cry, Levi, it’s okay,” Erwin’s words are quiet now, not much louder than a whisper. In response, Levi only heaves in a sob, lips pulling back in a grimace. He shakes his head again, trying to convey too many words at once. He wants to scream, to fight, to haul Erwin into his arms and take him far away from this place. It is the furthest from okay that Levi could have ever imagined.

Words have failed Levi on many an occasion. They fail him here too, but his actions have not. Tilting Erwin’s chin up with graceful fingers, he presses his lips to his lover’s. Erwin pushes back against him as if the action would breathe new life into him. Levi commits the shape of Erwin’s lips to memory, the touch, the taste, the testimony of their love.

They part too soon.

Levi still has Erwin’s hand in his own as he pulls back, searching for Erwin’s loving gaze to rest upon him once more. 

“Erwin? Erwin!”

A scream tears its way from his throat, voice choking around his lover’s name as he feels their tether fraying, snapping under a sudden lack of pressure. Agony courses through his body as he pulls Erwin’s body into his lap, pushing golden hair away from lifeless eyes. His face, suddenly peaceful, brings minimal comfort to Levi. Erwin’s corpse is just another to the battlefield, and yet that knowledge has never hurt as much as the reality.

Hange finds Levi there, still stooping over Erwin’s broken body. Their forbearing words placate him just so, enough to bring him into their arms to murmur soothing refrains into his hair. The sun touches the western horizon before they can tempt him to part ways with the battlefield.

Although Levi takes a piece of Erwin with him, the emerald bolo tie warm in his hand, he leaves something far greater behind.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! this is my first piece of fanfiction, let alone eruri fanfiction, so i hope you enjoy (or not, as i had to take a break to stop making myself sad)! any kudos and comments are appreciated! sending love, and stay safe!


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